Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Someone Please Prescribe Some Concerta for the ELCA

Mornings in our household are such a joy until the ADHD meds take effect. My two children on the Autism Spectrum... well that's another posting altogether. But my fourteen year-old, neurotypical child (ie, not on the Autism Spectrum), he is an interesting case study in selfish, self-centered, over the top behavior. He refuses to get up without at least one major flare-up of swearing at the top of his lungs to announce his majesty's arrival in the living room, where he promptly lays down on the couch and screams out, "Where are my clothes? I can't find my clothes?" And it doesn't matter if they were laid out the night before on the back of the couch, because those are always the wrong clothes, too itchy, scratchy, or whatever.

Now, me, personally, I'd be fine dumping him off at school in his wife beater and boxers, but his mom always seems to give in. Then its on to the next major tirade, "Where's my breakfast? Where's my backpack? (Where's my sanity?), etc., ad infinitum."

Now don't get me wrong. I love Alex. Alex is a great kid (other than being 14), loving, thoughtful, smart, charming, with great leadership potential, but until those ADHD meds kick in, he is one major diva act, who thinks only of himself, who tries to dictate terms, and is just a general pain in the gluteus maximus.

Perhaps you can see where I am going with this. As I watch the ELCA being ripped apart at the seams by the diva acts on both sides of the political spectrum, who pervert and twist the reformation principle of bound conscience to mean, "believe my way or I'm leaving," it's like Groundhog Day, the eternal recurrence of the same, my morning routine over and over again. Enough already! Someone please stop the madness, the wilfullnes, the petty bitterness and spite.
Will someone please prescribe the ELCA a massive dose of ADHD meds, Concerta, Vyvanse, Adderall, Ritalin, hey, whatever works, man. Some of us are tired and just want to get back to the ministry to which we've been called, introducing people to Jesus (you 'member him, don't you?).

Memo to those who have 'jacked the Church to meet their own personal and political ends; from Jesus, the CEO of the Church Catholic, Lord and Savior of Creation: Give me back my church!

I am the Unlikely Pastor. Welcome to my world

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